Scars.

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You can't see the scars

that you've left on my heart,

but that doesn't mean

they're in the dark.

They're there,

I can feel them

bursting

at the seams

as I hold back

a pained scream.

I know I said

I would always be there,

but this is getting

much harder to bare.

I think of you

when I sit idle,

I think of how

you're in denial.

You're sorry,

I know,

but not sorry enough

to avoid letting me go.

I guess I knew

all along

that this wouldn't turn out right,

but that didn't dim the hope

...that little, innocent light

Style / Type: 
freeform
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Language: 
English
5
Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)

 Creative writing !!

 Creative writing !!

Thanks!

Thank ya, thank ya! :)

catlover12de's picture

Nice job.

 Great message in there. However, I feel it would be best if the format changed a little. The paragraph format doesn't seem to fit this poem the best. But other then that, It is absolutely wonderful.

Thanks!

Thank you, very much! :) How do you think I should set it up?

catlover12de's picture

Suggestion

 What about this?

"You can't see the scars

that you've left on my heart,

but that doesn't mean

they're in the dark.

They're there,

I can feel them

bursting

at the seams

as I hold back

a pained scream.

I know I said

I would always be there,

but this is getting

much harder to bare.

I think of you

when I sit idle,

I think of how

you're in denial.

You're sorry,

I know,

but not sorry enough

to avoid letting me go.

I guess I knew

all along

that this wouldn't turn out right,

but that didn't dim the hope

...that little, innocent light."

That's just my suggestion. Feel free to take it or leave it.

I'll Take It, haha.

I'll take it, thanks! :)

catlover12de's picture

 Glad I could help.

 Glad I could help.

A prose that shows us we all

A prose that shows us we all carry scars, no matter how deep.

unforgotten scars

 u have given it creativity and Deanna has made more clearer .

well done and i can sense the pain it left behind.Scars would always be their and token of gift and would never allow us to forget them[if we want to!].

 

LAvanya

Thanks!

Many thanks. :)